Seeing Red

I always thought red was good luck in China. It is the wedding color and you give people gifts in red envelopes all the time. I think I heard something about it being considered bad luck to write someone's name in red once before. I forgot about it until my co-worker told me I had to rewrite a student's certificate because I wrote in red. I thought it was really silly and unnecessary and I saw no reason to rewrite it. I grade their papers in a red pen all the time and write notes to them with their names written in red. My students don't say anything about it...

One of my other co-workers said writing someone's name in red means you want to cut all ties with the person. Google said it had something to do with the color red being reserved for the dead in ancient times, I'm not sure if that is correct though. It also said that prisoners had to sign their name in red before being executed and that only the emperor was allowed to write with red ink. The color red has very different meanings in China than at home.

At our wedding we followed some Chinese customs and received red envelopes. I picked Tiffany blue and chocolate as our colors and didn't decorate anything in red. I wonder if many locals here would say it was bad luck. Nobody at our wedding minded as far as I know.

Anyway, I rewrote the certificate. It probably would have been less frustrating if my co-worker gave a reason rather than just telling me I needed to redo it because that is how we do things in China. Maybe it is just because I'm American and we are always taught to question things and speak up about our opinions. The Chinese in contrast have more of a do what you are told mentality.

I was trying to think of what customs I follow that are comparable. Specifically, are there American customs that I would correct someone of a different culture for not adhering to it? The best example I could think of was a Jewish custom. When I was little I was taught never to write god's full name unless it was in a prayerbook because it was disrespectful. Instead you have to write G-d. When I was a kid, before I gave much thought to the custom I may have corrected people for writing it. Once I grew up and thought about it, I realized not everyone has that custom and decided I didn't care if people follow it or not. I don't actually follow that custom myself anyway so it isn't really relevant.

I'd love to think that I personally wouldn't force my customs on anyone but maybe I have and didn't even realize it. I'm curious what things people who moved to the states from China or elsewhere think are silly and frustrating about Americans. To me it just seemed pushy and sort of rude to insist I rewrite the certificate, but maybe I am being culturally insensitive. It is really frustrating when little culture clashes like this come up. I still am baffled by the locals' insistence that windows be kept wide open all winter long. I don't understand why they only give out one menu per party at restaurants here. I know Chinese restaurants serve things family style and traditionally one person orders but western restaurants in China where you order individually still only give one menu per table. I try to keep in mind that I am a guest in this country and sometimes you have to sort of go along with things but it can feel frustrating when someone pushes their custom at you without explanation. Good communication usually makes this better but then there is the language barrier...